Be-Bop's Treasure Loft

As a wine novice (totally), I am really just beginning to explore the world of wine. However, I have always found the Wine Lingo to be mostly confusing, leaving me with absolutely NO CLUE what it means. So…..for reference, here is the limited knowledge I started with:

• Wine is a beverage that is made from grapes, and grapes grow in vineyards. Simple enough…..
• The grapes (and wineries) tend to be located in valleys. The first that come to mind are the Napa Valley and Sonoma Valley.
• There are red wines and white wines, and something called rose (pronounced “ros-ay”). Got it!
• Red wine is a dark color, and white wine is light color, but mostly clear. It’s really not white, but whatever.
• Rose (not the flower), is generally pink, but with all the various colors of roses, why did they decide that Rose is pink? Since there are yellow, red, pink, and white roses. Somehow, I would think it should be red. But it’s not!! This only contributes to the confusion, and I am just describing the colors!!!
• Red wine is supposed to be healthy for you, and good for your heart.
• Wine is made by smashing the grapes. In “I Love Lucy”, they crush them with their feet. It is beyond me why people want to drink it after it has been stomped on!!! I should also note that Jesus was able to make wine from just water, and it was probably much cleaner! Psssst. I think he has super-powers!
• Wine is stored in barrels, and has to be aged. This is probably because it is not old enough to legally drink yet….

I knew more Wine Lingo than I thought…

• After they take the wine out of the barrels, then they put it in bottles. The bottles come in lots of sizes, shapes, and colors. A lot of the bottles are green, brown, or clear; and some are REALLY big, but most are a pretty normal size.
• Then once they bottle the wine, they seal the bottle with a cork, and add a little wrapper thingy around the top of the bottle. Bonus! When you open the wine, you can get a whole workout just trying to get the cork out so you can drink it.
• Some people tell you that wine gives them headaches, but they never tell you what kind of wine they drink, or more importantly…..how much!
• The cost of wine varies greatly per bottle, starting from rather inexpensive, to “more than my house payment” and beyond. I have been told that the more expensive wines taste better. Unfortunately, I have not been able to afford to check that theory myself. Besides….there is a LOT more to learn before I will even get to that point!

Adding to the knowledge…..

With my “advanced” level of knowledge, I still could not understand all the fuss about wine. I have always associated it with romance. This makes sense since France is the world’s largest producer of wine, and I always thought they invented romance. So…. as a terminally single person, I never really bothered with wine. In spite of that, I continued to look into this “Wine” thing, and there is SOOOOOO much more to learn.

I never really knew that there is such a thing as “Fine Wine“. While thinking about it, I figured that “Fine” wine is the expensive stuff. I also thought there were three types of wine: the cheap wine, the wine you splurge on occasionally, and the wine that is too expensive to even think about drinking, i.e. “Fine Wine”. Very simply, I find out that it is more complicated than that. Obviously, I need further research!

Names, names, and more names……

After some more research, I find that even the wine names can get crazy! I can handle Red Wine, White Wine, Rose, Sparkling Wine, and can even handle adding the region or winery name to that. But of course it is not that simple!! Here are some of the names I found (or are they varieties?):

• Riesling
• Merlot
• Sauvignon blanc, and there is a Chenin blanc
• Cabernet Sauvignon (what’s different from a Sauvignon blanc?)
• Blush (aka Rose)
• Zinfandel
• Pinot (both Noir and Grigio)
• Chardonnay
• Moscato
• Brut
• Champagne
• Chablis

There are probably even more names, and now I am way confused! But I am totally impressed with people who know what color a wine is just by the name! While I am still trying to figure out if the wine is red, white, or rose; they are talking about the flavors, whether it is dry or not, and what food to pair with it.

Now just wait a minute here! What the heck is a “dry” wine? How can something you drink be “dry”? A basic (and I mean REALLY basic) rule in my life is: The things you drink are wet!!! Does the dry wine come from a powder that you have to mix? I don’t get it.

Some people actually have preferences, while I am stuck at “tastes good and I like it” or “tastes awful”. This Wine Lingo thing is quickly getting messy!

Advancing further with Wine Lingo…..

As I continue my journey into the world of wine lingo, I find out that fine wines come with these things called “tasting notes”. Ok. I have not heard of them before, so I check them out. I was expecting “Good”, “Bad”, “Will do in a pinch”. No!!! I am not that lucky. And by now, I am totally convinced that learning wine lingo is the equivalent of learning a foreign language!!! This is also because someone once mentioned “Wine Culture”. So it must be a foreign country or something. But for now, back to tasting notes….. I don’t know of any other kind of food that requires “tasting notes”. You either like it, or you don’t.

P.S. It is really good that Google is a close friend of mine!!!

P.P.S. Are there advanced degrees in Wine Lingo? PhD Wine Snob?

Wine tasting notes: Wine Lingo that needs translation…or an interpreter!!!

I looked a some of the tasting notes, and am now more confused than ever.

“Nicely layered and textured with dark, brooding berry, vanilla and spice… with silky tannings. Great with Greek food – try some keftedes or dolmades with this.” More confusion and questions: How do you layer a liquid? How does a berry brood? Berries? I thought wine was only made from grapes. And what makes tannings silky? Do grapes grow in the sun so they can get a good tan? How do I know if the pairing is good if I have to look up the foods that they suggest?

“….and crème brûlée nose grabs you …… give an edge to rich cherry and cardamom, bright and fresh yet excellent structure…“ Just exactly what IS a nose grab? and what do they mean by structure?

“Crisp minerality with pear, pineapple and citrus. Excellent with salads.“ Come on now, minerality? With all that fruit, I assume they are recommending fruit salads.

“…Nice full bodied California style pinot noir – long finish. ” Full bodied? Is this only for full bodied people? What is a long finish? Does that have anything to with how long it takes to drink it?

“Nose of apple orchard and whiskey barrel, nice mid-pallet acidity…” I have never heard the phrase “nose of”. And what the heck is “mid-pallet”? Aren’t those the wooden things that you take apart and re-use the wood? Oops…..maybe they mean “palate”. I will never understand this stuff.

“…. explore this unctuous chardonnay” Unctuous? What will they think of next….

“…full bodied cab… Very dry, with a structure that really shines” Just what exactly does this mean.

“An endangered grape …..supple tannins and a persistent finish.” I can honestly say I have never heard of endangered grapes before. Maybe it is tannins and not tanning.

So I talked to my friend Google…..

My friend Google told me a few things…..the first is that it’s time to get a little more serious! He also told me a little more about some of these things:

• Wine body – this refers to the way it feels in your mouth. There are light bodies and full bodies, and this refers to the viscosity of the liquid. It is like comparing water to a thicker syrup, or skim milk to whole milk. Fuller body wines also tend to have a higher alcohol content.
• Finish – This is actually the last impression of the wine, and describes the taste that remains after swallowing the wine.
• Structure – refers to the elements that can one senses while tasting. This includes sweetness, acidity, and body. There are actually five components that make up part of the structure of the wine: sugar, alcohol, fruit, tannin, and acid.
• Texture – This also has to do with the way the wine feels, and is comes from the alcohol, sugars, and tannins.
• Layers – simply means that they add the multiple ingredients separately. Who knew!
• Unctuous – this describes that feeling when there is a weighty or oily sensation, and occurs by malolactic fermentation. This process can alter the acids which make the wine taste creamier.

And….I kept digging….

• Tannins – These are the plant chemicals that contain antioxidants, and give the red wines their flavor.
• Silky tannins – This is one of the texture descriptions for the tannins. They can also be plush, velvety, chalky, or chewy, to name a few.
• Nose of – This describes how the wine smells in the glass, and maybe a nose grab relates to this.
• Dry – In technical terms, a dry wine contains less than 2 grams of sugar per liter. Acidity can also play a role in the dryness of wine.
• Minerality – this is part of the taste that is not a fruit, herb, or spice, and has to do with the regions that produces the grapes, that is the minerals in the soil.
• Endangered grapes – Just like animals can have endangered species, the same is true for grapes. A natural disaster can wipe out a grape variety in a region, and if there aren’t enough resources to replant, that variety becomes extinct.
• Brooding berry – This just means the berries are darker, rather than bright and juicy.
• Tasting notes – The authors intend for these to be helpful in picking a new wine. However, there is so much insider terminology with wine that can be intentionally ambiguous.

Fine Wines vs Inexpensive wines

I am also learning that there really ARE Fine Wines!!! These are the wines that are crafted over time. Do not confuse these with the mass produced wines where they add things to speed up the process. Many times the headaches result from the additives to the mass-produced wine. So there you have it!

There REALLY is a difference! Fortunately, I have found a Wine of the Month Club that will help to greatly advance my knowledge of Wine and the associated Wine Lingo!

Come Join Me on My Journey to Learn More about Fine Wine!

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